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Okay, it's not in 3D and to be honest it was pretty personal last time too. I hit you with the ol' sequel tag line bait 'n' switch. I know it's a bit cheap and tacky but so am I, so deal with it. So without further ado, I give you the third installment of the "Floods Suck" trilogy. As you recall when we left off, I had thought that when Darth Vader sliced Obi Wan Kenobi like a kielbasi sausage with his light saber that he was quite obviously worm food. The next thing you know I was running through the filthy basement water and I hear Obi Wan's voice in my head saying, "Hey why don't get out of the basement before you get yourself killed!" So I took the advice of the disembodied Jedi master and picked up the pace. Incidentally, although it was pretty cool that he could talk after he was dead, I fail to see how he [quote] "became more powerful than you could possibly imagine," but that's a topic for another day. You know I suppose I could have typed this flood story in a single blog if I could stay on topic for any length of time, but I think it's pretty clear by now that that's just not how my brain works. And isn't entertainment more important than facts anyway? Sure it is. How else could you possibly explain Fox News?
Meanwhile, Zach grabbed an instrument cable that was still plugged in to something and got a nice zap. So what does Eddie do? He says, "Are you serious? Let me see that..." and he grabs the same cable to figure out how it was possible to get shocked with an instrument cable. Brilliant. That's when it occurred to us all at once: We're all standing in water and holding cables connected to devices that are still plugged into the wall. And not just any wall - the wall with the water pouring through it. Wow. Panic does not make for sensible decision-making. So now a brand new panic sets in. Hooray, because the old ones were becoming such a bore. We used a towel to grab and unplug the main power strips and I yelled, "Grab that, that and that and let's get the f--- out of here!" Then Obi Wan said, "That's what I've been trying to tell you - jackass!"
Of course, we're guys and therefore inherently and idiotically don't know when to quit even when not quitting is a really stupid idea, so we did grab a couple more things each before we gave up. We really shouldn't have, but it's hard when you're splashing out with an armful of stuff and you see something float by and you think, "Crap! I should really come back and grab that!" And then, to silence the small, more reasonable side of your conscience you add to that, "... but that's the last thing I'm grabbing." It was pretty difficult to draw that line, but of course that line had to be drawn quickly.
We decided we needed to get a pump attachment for Eddie's wet/dry vac (we'd be using strictly the "wet" vac feature, not so much the "dry") so we can drain the water through a garden hose while we suck it into the vacuum. We waited about 40 minutes for Home Depot to open and then headed over. ...along with everyone else in town. It turned out this was a pretty popular idea. I bought a vacuum like Eddie's. It was the display model. They had just opened and they had already sold out of wet/dry vacs. Holy shit. Now, although I say I bought the same vacuum as Eddie, the reality is that Eddie's is actually the 16 gallon while mine is the 14 gallon. Now while that has absolutely nothing to do with this story, but it has everything to do with our relationship. For the record we do have the same pump, so in your face, Eddie! Of course, they only make one kind, but... whatever.
So Zach, Eddie, and I took shifts operating the vacs and pumps (it turned out that the vacs and pumps can't be run at the same time.) This went on all day. It was loud, tedious, and worst of all, it was probably useless as well. There's really no way of knowing if it made a difference, but we had to do something.
I saw my neighbor digging out by the street in front of my house. His plan was if during the 2 1/2 hour lull (because another wave of heavy rain was coming) we could re-route the water that was draining into our yards from across that street we might be able to save ourselves from further damage. It sounded pretty brilliant and on top of that, I was fresh out of ideas. He had a pile of shovels so all of us plus a few neighbors and my friend Justin dug for about an hour in the rain. There's nothing quite like physical labor after being awake for two days straight. By the time we were finished with that, I had nothing left. I knew Eddie and Zach felt the same way, so I sent everyone home for some rest. At this point we had done all we could. I peeled off my cold, wet clothes and collapsed into bed. Whatever was going to happen was just going to happen. I would re-assess the damage when I woke up.
Well it seemed the homemade levee saved us from further damage. I woke up later that night disoriented and slowly began to comprehend (again) the surreal events of the previous 24 hours. I told myself for the thousandth time - everybody is okay. That's all that matters.
In the end it's astounding how much stuff we were able to save, all things considered. We did lose a lot, but a good bit of it was junk or at the very least questionable. We lost some sentimental stuff but most of that was kept upstairs so it was safe. It certainly could have been worse. It took another two days to get a hold of a couple pumps to get the water out (the wet/dry vacs weren't doing the trick) It's a very uneasy feeling to know that you and your family are going to sleep at night with that much water underneath you. The walls are mostly cement down there so structural collapse didn't seem terribly likely, but it was obvious from the way the water came in that there had been a lot of erosion under and around our house so I was far from at ease.
Over the days of vacuuming and pumping the water out, on several occasions something would float around the corner to the top of the stairs as if it wanted to be rescued - bongos, a plastic drawer full of stuff (totally dry) - all kinds of stuff. Day after day friends showed up to help: carrying everything outside, drying out cables, pedals, etc., hauling piles of stinky, wet garbage to the curb, separating damaged stuff from possibly okay stuff, organizing, and a lot of cleanup. I didn't have to track people down either; everyday friends would call and tell me they were on their way to help. We have amazing friends and I can't comprehend what this would have been like to deal with alone. It really is one of the more beautiful sides of human nature how we instinctively come together when tragedy strikes. We hear a lot about the destructive and careless side of our kind so I think it really is important to appreciate the other side of it. It might be enough to even slightly subdue my cynicism for a while. Probably not, but crazier things have happened.
A week and a half later we still don't have any heat or ac but we did finally get hot water tonight. There's still a lot to do, and everything still smells musty but the worst is way behind us. I took one of the best showers in my life today. My favorite part was how there wasn't freezing cold water pouring over my shivering body while I screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs this time. It's the little things, ya know?
-Danny
Okay, it's been about a week since part one. You've had plenty of time to get some popcorn and use the bathroom. If not, tough crap. Just pee in your popcorn. It's story time. Where was I?... Oh yeah- so as the bear crashed down on top of me, my raw survival instincts took over. With my sweaty bare hands I stopped his jaws from from clamping down on my face. My arms trembled with exhaustion holding the creature's muzzle only inches from my own, his hot musky breath blowing my... wait a minute. That's totally the wrong story. Okay, well long story short, it was a complete misunderstanding. It turns out the bear was only coming over to ask directions. I was startled, I yelled, he roared and I completely flipped out. It was embarrassing but in the end he was totally cool about it. We're even friends on Facebook now. Of course that's not to say that we're all that close these days, but you know how that stuff goes- He has a wife and cubs now and... well, the family life can put such a strain on friendships, and... [*sigh*], anyway... about my basement-
Honestly this story is kind of boring compared to the bear story, but whatever. The people have spoken. So like I was saying: The water began to stream through the cinder block wall in a few places as if from squirt guns, and every minute or so I'd notice one more. We were moving at a pretty good pace now although we soon found out we could move even faster. All we were lacking was the proper motivation. If you've ever seen a movie where a dam breaks, usually they show a few streams of water come through, then a big crack forms, and then the huge wave bursts through the middle. Well, I never saw a crack.
All I know is we all heard it break through and turned our heads at the same time and began simultaneously yelling. I mean we yelled loudly. It's impossible to constructively react instantly to something like that. The only reasonable thing to do at first is freeze, stare wide-eyed, and freak out. So that's what we did. The water was pouring on top of my main desk where only minutes before that my computer and tons of recording gear had been. At this point it was pouring onto my desk and about 60 or 70 cables that had been plugged into everything. There was still a lot of gear in danger and as soon as we were able to make our bodies move we started grabbing everything as fast as we could. Several times I froze up, staring and hyperventilating and Aerin had to pull me out of it. It was just such a feeling of helplessness. There's just something horrifying about seeing Mother Nature making a power play like that. That chick doesn't screw around.
The water was rising, everyone was yelling, "WHAT NEXT?!" and I pointed and panicked and grabbed things and ran like hell (rinse and repeat.) It was complete chaos. The sound of screaming and freaking being drowned out by the sound of waterfall, all of us running through the water frantically, things floating all over the room... I'm not positive, but I think I saw a string quartet playing in the corner at one point. And all the while the brown water kept rising...
This concludes Part 2 of the three part series, "Floods Suck" by Danny Smith. Please check back for the thrilling conclusion!
So for the last several days Aerin and I along with our friends (who we are sooooo lucky to have) have been pumping water out of the basement while salvaging, organizing, scrubbing rust, repairing, and laying things out in the yard to dry. It's far from done and it's even farther from fun, but we're making good progress. Let me back up for minute and explain how we came to have five feet of water in our basement. Oh, and did I mention the basement is where my recording and animation studio is? Well I should probably mention that.
I was counting tips Saturday night at work. It was about 2:45 am. My friend Zach comes back to tell me Aerin has been trying to get in touch with me because there's been a little flooding in the studio. Nothing serious, but she wanted to know if I wanted her to move anything just to be safe. Looking back it's absurd we used the word "flooding" at that point. I now know that what we were experiencing at that point was a few puddles. The flooding would come later.
So I grabbed a squeegee from the bar and headed home. Zach said he'd come by when he was done in case I needed any help. I told him it was probably nothing but he came over anyway. The floor down there is really uneven, so there were a few places where the water was pooling a couple inches. No big deal, we'd just squeegee it into the sump pump and call it a night, right? Hmmm. Why wasn't it going away? I just squeegeed that spot. For some reason we didn't seem to be getting anywhere.
Then Zach found the leak. Or the first leak I should say. There's a five inch square-ish hole in the cement. Normally you can look in and see dirt and rocks - the foundation, I've always assumed, although I've never understood why it was there. Days later it was determined to be some kind of poorly designed drain. So water was coming up through the hole. Obviously this was going to be a mess, so we called Eddie to bring a wet/dry vac. Eddie is one of those guys that not only has every tool know to man, but he has really good ones and usually 4 or five of each thing. "What size?" Eddie asked me. "Oh the smallest one you have would probably be fine." replied the idiot. Lucky for me, it just wouldn't suit Eddie's personality to show up with a five gallon vacuum. It's more fun to show me how cool his biggest one is. That turned out to be for the best.
We started moving a few things that were in puddles at a somewhat leisurely pace. That was when I saw the water squirting through the cinder block wall behind my studio computer. Holy shit. Time to pick up the pace. The panic began, although in a few minutes my idea of panic would never be the same...
